


Back to Life

by michmak



Series: The Wizard of Odd, and other stories [15]
Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michmak/pseuds/michmak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He realizes he believes in a lot of things now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to Life

Book had told him to believe in something. He had died in Mal's arms, begging. And Mal had believed. He wondered if the spark had always been there, buried under the bodies of his dead soldiers.

He realizes he believes in a lot of things now. He believes in his crew; in their ability to fly true, despite the 'verses best attempts to throw 'em off course. He believes he was right to broadcast the truth about Miranda to all the known worlds. He believes that he can make it through another day, another month, another year without putting a gun to his head and finishing the job Serenity Valley had started.

He's found his soul again, too. Had found it when he'd first laid eyes on his ship and brought together his crew of misfits, mercenaries and fugitives; only he hadn't recognized it for what it really was until he had almost lost it all. It was battered from years of neglect but Mal knew it was there and had been there, waiting for the proper time to be found.

He suspects he might have even found his heart again. Of the three, it is this that bothers him the most. Hearts can be broken, and Mal figures he's already broken enough without having something else to worry about. He don't need more scars – especially not the kind on the inside; the kind no one else can see but him.

"I see them," his little Albatross whispers from the co-pilots chair. He hadn't heard her come in and her voice makes him start a bit. "But they aren't scars, they're stones in a pond."

"Pardon me?" he asks. It's the first time he's spoken to her direct since the night she kissed Jayne, almost two weeks ago.

"They're stones in a pond," she repeats gently. "No one can see the way they made you ripple, but they're still there beneath the surface. You carry them into the future with you and because of this, they never die."

Mal closes his eyes and thinks of the most recent stones he carries – Book, Wash, Inarra – and realizes River might be right. Ain't no shame in carrying scars on your heart because it means the people who put 'em there will always be with you.

"You can't be dead anymore, Captain – it's been long enough. You must carry your stones and live for them. The fact you have so many only shows your capacity to love."

Mal nods slightly, before turning away from her to look out at the stars. He thought he had died with his men at Serenity Valley, but now he realizes he lived for them.


End file.
